Letting Go

This is Sera's world, that I'm using :D for more Pandora & Luthien go visit her blog!! Serastoff.blogpost.com




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She felt torn. In many, many ways.


In one way, she wanted her friend to leave. Perhaps it would be easier than this slow band-aid that was being painfully pulled off. If she left, then maybe the salt would stop falling on this open wound. Perhaps her heart would stop its random aching.


In another way, obviously, she didn’t want her friend to leave. She wanted to drag it out, to be able to be with her as long as possible.


“Why must she go?” Luthien recalled her whiny pleading, her immature unacceptance


“She’ll have a better future if she leaves, Lu. Besides, she’s not happy here, you know it!”


“She’s plenty happy here! We have lots of fun! She’d grow to love it even more if she stayed!”


“Luthien, please. Pandora needs to go back to where she’s happy; she needs to go to where she’ll be able to grow more. Don’t fight it.”


She had stalked off, angry at the predicament. She’d sat on the window seat in her room (her favorite place in the whole house) and stared at the sky, the heavy gray clouds echoing her feelings.


“Who will take care of her? Who will watch her, protect her?” Luthien sighed, knowing no-one would answer her.


A sudden call from her mother caught her attention.


“Luthien, a letter!”


She ran down eagerly, hoping perhaps it was something that would help this awful day.


“It’s from Li!”


She smiled. This probably would brighten her day.


She read the message, a standard one about the amazingness of life in general, and felt better. As she returned her gaze to the gray sky, a thought suddenly struck her.


“Li will watch her, Li will protect her! Li knows she’s special, Li knows about her tendencies.”


She knew that Pandora was trying to have a semi-normal life, despite her mental conditions. She knew that Pandora couldn’t stay here and do that. Gradually, over the months before Pandora left, Luthien became accustomed to the idea. She accepted it, was happy for Pandora even. But that didn’t mean she wouldn’t miss her, wouldn’t ache sometimes.


Now, she wanted to rip the band-aid off. She was sitting here, in this old familiar tree (Pan’s favorite), thinking about life in general. Her journal lay open next to her, half a page filled out. There was no other way she knew how to express her feelings except through writing. Writing was emotionless and emotion-filled at the same time. The very phenomena of writing something down in a journal could not be explained. She picked it up again and began to write, the sound of the pen softly connecting with the paper was like a balm to her wounds. She let the tears flow as she wrote, not caring if her eyes would be red or her head would ache. Tears must flow sometimes, despite society’s looking down upon them.


She scribbled a poem that had suddenly come to her in the soft twilight


“For though time passes, we stay still
Sitting, laughing, upon this hill


I smile at you, and you smile at me
We wonder what we might not be


A dancer, a writer, an artist, we scream
these are the simple things we dream


We wish upon the shooting stars
but will we end up tending bars?


For dreams are funny, angry things
they fly around on paper wings


Eventually the wings get torn
and new thoughts and dreams are born


The old ones turn to ash and die
to the corners of our hearts they fly


To stay and grow and fester and mold
until we have grown far too old


For them to ever happen, or such
these dreams feel stale to the touch


And we cry at night as we remember them
What could, and might have very well been


Our future lives as actresses and writers
have fallen in proverbial fires


And burnt to death, as we can see
Burning flesh and death smell we


Our lives have turned to nothing more
than a simple wooden score


And nothing that we say or do
could bring us back to twenty-two


So let us stay here, and speak our dreams
for, perhaps, if we believe, these things


They will come to pass, that is;
if we work , and study too


We will be able to accomplish
things through Him who strengthens us


And anything is possible through Him


Impossible things, like flying, living, dreaming
are possible, through HIM, God our father


So let us leave this pretty hill
go to achieve our dreams, we will


And pray and hope for happy lives
in which I become a loving wife


And you can live where’re you wish
I will visit you with a covered dish


We’ll smile and laugh like always
and it’ll be more than just a phase


It will be our life, filled with love
and joy, and everything stereotypically included above


And when we feel down, we’ll remember this hill
and sitting and laughing and talking still


We will always be friends, always love each other, never will we be able to completely and utterly separate.”


Luthien tore it out and stuck it in the hole in the tree. She knew Pandora would visit here before she left in the morning, and hopefully she’d see this. Brushing a stray tear from her eye, Luthien slid off the tree, relishing in the simple joy of the way the grass felt on her bare feet. She walked tiredly home, emotionally exhausted. Smiling at her complete and utter emotionality and her over dramatic-ness she gave a sudden skip. Life was good, and anyone who couldn’t see that was blinder than a mole.


Yes, a mole!


Never will we be able to completely and utterly separate. This carries me on."








~LS